


Toxic

by hanabyulse



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:14:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24822199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanabyulse/pseuds/hanabyulse
Summary: It must've been a joke, so why, exactly, was Byulyi getting drunk on Yongsun's lips, her hands wandering down her golden dress?Yongsun was straight, but she couldn't think as such. Not when Byulyi's fingers ran down the bare back of her dress, teasing at its thin straps. Not when her lips tasted so good, so sweet—so much better than any man's.
Relationships: Kim Yongsun | Solar/Moon Byulyi | Moonbyul
Comments: 21
Kudos: 244





	1. one [m]

**Author's Note:**

> Where Kim Yongsun, a veteran actress, crosses paths with Moon Byulyi, an up and coming rapper only to end up tangled in each other's lives.

She never liked to be anywhere but home and on set; it irked Kim Yongsun her attendance was mandatory for award shows.

The veteran actress sat in her limousine, finger scratching at her itching earring. She shifted, not being able to sit still. Beside her, her long-time boyfriend held her hand and massaged her knuckles gently, albeit with rough fingers.

"Don't overthink it, baby. You'll be fine. Even if you don't win—" Yongsun snapped her head towards his direction. "I _am_ going to win Best Actress."

She hated any trace of doubt when it came to her acting abilities. She didn't want the doubt to get to her. That's why she refused to sit beside her boyfriend in the venue. Negativity was the last thing Yongsun needed for tonight, after having worked her ass off the entire year.

Award shows didn't just irk her. They infuriated her. She hated the talentless performers they had for intermissions, she hated the reporters, the flashing lights, the gossiping co-workers, she hated it. She hated everything.

But looking at the stage, an unfamiliar face started to perform. Her face was gentle coming up, but once she rapped, the woman's features became rough and aggressive. She had all the eyes on her with her stage presence and the bass of her voice. The performer felt like a magnet.

Moon Byulyi was an up and coming star. She was known for her ridiculous antics on stage, and her manager successfully pestered her into dropping Kim Yongsun's name after her performance because " _she's definitely going to win Best Actress_ ".

The theater roars in applause and gasps when she says, "Kim Yongsun, if I drink this one shot, will you go out with me?"

Yongsun jerked awake. Not that she was sleeping in the awards show, but it felt like she was slipping away from reality and had just been brought back.

 _No way_. She laughed, a hand covering her mouth. Even if it was serious, the gimmick was funny, considering that the actress had been long taken. And she was straight.

She was straight.

Kim Yongsun felt dizzy and everything was hazy. She hated everything. She hated that she was a lightweight but loved girly bar drinks. She hated that she was a lightweight and that her boyfriend left the award show when she won Best Actress.

The room felt hot and cramped. She wanted to go home and sleep.

"You're not looking too well, Kim Yongsun." It was Moon Byulyi and the actress scoffed, face smeared with a smirk.

"Congrats on winning Best Actress. It's why my manager forced me to drop your name, by the way. " She sat on the formerly vacant barstool beside Yongsun, a drink already in hand.

"I'll take you up on your offer." Even though drunk, she could still form comprehensive words, though not exactly good ideas. Upon hearing this, the rapper chokes on her beverage and fidgets with the collar of her shirt.

"Of course we're not going to date, but you can take me home." Yongsun was dangerously close, and Byulyi could smell the intoxicating scent of luxury on her skin and the fruity cocktails she'd been drinking for the past hours on her lips.

She was drunk, it must've been a joke. Byulyi laughed it off and gulped down a shot of mojito in one drink.

It must've been a joke, so why, exactly, was Byulyi getting drunk on Yongsun's lips, her hands wandering down her golden dress?

Yongsun was straight, but she couldn't think as such. Not when Byulyi's fingers ran down the bare back of her dress, teasing at its thin straps. Not when her lips tasted _so_ good, _so_ sweet—so much better than any man's.

Byulyi laughed, strands of her hair sticking to her dewy face. Yongsun, in her state, had slipped the words " _I'm still straight though_ " in between their heated kiss.

Her hands found their way under her dress and to her thighs pressed down on the dresser. Yongsun had never kissed anyone like this before, with Byulyi being so gentle and so aggressive at the same time, she could easily melt under her touch.

"Is this okay?" The rapper asked, their foreheads touching. It's the first time Yongsun looks her in the eye since she pressed their lips together. She nodded, leaning her head back against the mirror.

Byulyi's mouth latched on the unstained skin of Yongsun's exposed chest, teeth grazing and sucking. The actress' fingers grasped at her hair, wanting to dive in the endless sea of Moon Byulyi. She just wanted more and more of her.

She gently nibbed on Yongsun's earlobe, breathing steadily. "You like that?" She never picked up on it earlier tonight, but Byulyi's voice, _oh god_ , her deep and throaty voice, did things to her. Words don't come easy to Yongsun, only a suppressed moan left her lips in response.

She's never known anything like this. She'd never thought she would feel pleasure like this because she never had before. Yongsun knew they were both drunk, but it felt like she was sober in every aspect of it—she could feel her body heat up and she could feel all of Byulyi's kisses and bites linger on her skin.

Her soft fingertips brushed against Yongsun's silk underwear, wetness already pooling at its center. A muttered curse escaped her lips, aggressive in nature but shaky through her breaths.

Byulyi played with the material, bunching it up in a single finger while her right hand slowly helped Yongsun out of her dress.

"I don't exactly have all day, Moon Byulyi." She grew impatient with her teasing and urgency was tugging at her patience. Yongsun wanted—no, _needed_ Byulyi.

Within moments, the actress was fully nude and a moaning mess, only with a single finger inside of her. She was warm and tight, and Byulyi had no difficulty in thrusting in another one of her slender fingers.

Byulyi, although not naked, was still only in a bra and dress pants, with Yongsun's nails clawing at her back. She grit her teeth at the burn she hasn't felt in a while.

Contrary to how they started, Byulyi was fucking her hard and rough, curled fingers hitting her g-spot multiple times until her legs trembled and orgasmed.

"You sure you're still straight?"

The next morning, hungover on she didn't know how many shots of mojito and a certain Kim Yongsun, Moon Byulyi checked her phone with a laugh upon seeing a new contact.

_"so-called straight girl"_


	2. two [m]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was just a kiss, one couldn't hurt. 
> 
> It was supposed to be just a kiss, but Yongsun found herself being taken back to her place by Byulyi for the second night in a row.

Yongsun exhaled sharply and felt a wave of shock through her body as she saw that the person beside her was her boyfriend— _not_ Byulyi. She groaned at herself. Why was she expecting Byulyi to stay the night? At least she was fully clothed in her pajamas. Yongsun blushed at the thought the rapper had dressed her up before leaving. Wait, why was she blushing at the thought of Byulyi?

God, she had a splitting headache and this was the last thing she needed.

_Ding!_

_**from unknown number** _   
_it's byulyi_   
_this must be yongsun bc_   
_it's saved as "supposedly_   
_straight girl"_

She was wrong. Byulyi reminding her of last night's events was the last thing she needed.

* * *

Yongsun hated going out on Saturdays with her friends because as the lightweight, she was the designated sober friend. Hyejin laughed upon going beside her to order another round of alcohol.

"You know we love you anyway, Yong!" She exclaimed, tipsy. Yongsun nodded just so the fellow actress could leave her alone and exclude her even more from the fun.

"Just so you know, I hate you guys." It was a joke, she loved her friends despite the exclusion, and Hyejin winked, strutting back to the dance floor.

Yongsun sighed and asked the bartender for a single cosmopolitan.

One couldn't hurt.

"Seriously, you again?" Slowly spinning the glass in her hand, Yongsun's head shot up at the familiar voice. Of course. Byulyi.

"I'd give anything to _not_ be here with _you_ right now." She rolled her eyes and turned the other way. Through her peripheral vision, she saw Byulyi take the seat beside her. Oh, everything from last night was repeating itself.

"You know I have a boyfriend, right?" Yongsun's fingers fidgeted at the pendant of her necklace that fell at the valley of her chest. Byulyi's eyes caught the habit—was Yongsun being nervous? She looked at her glossy eyes and they told her all she needed to know.

"Right. It just didn't seem a lot like it when I was making you moan last night."

Had it always been hot where she was? Yongsun moved her hair out of her face and breathed slowly. It must be the alcohol.

"If ever you forget to remind yourself, you can always send me a text." Byulyi stood up and ran a hand through her raven hair before taking a few steps away from her.

Yongsun hated everything, but she hated herself a little more most times.

She couldn't stop herself from grabbing Byulyi's wrist and pulling her closer.

It was just a kiss; one couldn't hurt.

Byulyi tasted like her favorite cocktail, and Yongsun couldn't get enough of her lips and how she tasted.

It was just a kiss, but Yongsun felt dizzy and the room surrounding them was spinning. It was just a kiss, but as though an instinct, her fingers rested at the base of Byulyi's hair, wanting her to lure her in deeper.

Yongsun was reminded of the hickeys she left on her body last night and the claw marks that appeared on Byulyi's bare back. And how all of those were probably still there—it hadn't even been twenty four hours.

Her skin was stained with violet and Byulyi's crimson lipstick, latching onto her neck. If her hands could leave traces of where they've been on her body, Yongsun was sure Byulyi would be all over hers.

It was just a kiss. It was supposed to be just a kiss, but Yongsun found herself being taken back to her place by Byulyi for the second night in a row.

It was just a kiss, but Yongsun didn't specify where to herself. She didn't want Byulyi to stop showering her body in sloppy kisses, didn't want her fingers to stop teasing at the nub of her breasts.

Byulyi was a talented rapper—that was a given fact. But when she had a taste of Yongsun as she slowly licked down her slit, Yongsun _knew_.

Yongsun knew with how Byulyi sucked her clit and plunged two of her fingers inside of her. Her ankles crossed at her nape, urging Byulyi closer.

With her fists gripping at her bedsheets, she was close. But amidst the curses and the strained moans, her boyfriend's name slipped somewhere.

"Get it right, Yongsun. It's Byulyi. Remember that the next time someone actually knows how to please you." Byulyi wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and left. Yongsun sighed exasperatedly, ruffling her hair in frustration. Fucking hell.

 _Really, Yongsun? Your slip of the tongue couldn't wait until coming?_ She pinched the bridge of her nose and clicked her tongue. Her lower abdomen hurt at being edged—and not even at her own will. The actress shook her head and poured herself a glass of wine.

* * *

"Yongsun-ah! I'm going to kill you, I'm seriously going to kill you! You left us in the bar last night, why would you do that!?" Hyejin wailed as she set her eyes on Yongsun entering the set. Her body felt sore and she didn't even want to work today, not after the last two days.

"Why would you cheat on your boyfriend!" Hyejin spoke at a lower volume, almost still shouting at her even though it was whispered. Yongsun looked at her with parted lips in shock. How... "You two weren't exactly subtle last night, you're fucking lucky we never have paparazzi in the club."

"I had a dr—"

"This is on you, Yong! You never get drunk on just one drink," Hyejin huffed and crossed her arms. Yongsun scratched at her eyebrow, her irritation growing with herself and with Byulyi.

Hyejin was right. Something _was_ wrong with Yongsun—Byulyi had her completely wrapped around her finger for whatever reason.

"I'm sorry, Hyej... Byulyi is just..." Yongsun found it difficult to choose the right words to say. She was unsure whether there were any right ones.

"At least tell us next time! So?" Hyejin stood with her arms crossed, waiting expectantly for what Yongsun had to say about her newfound fuckbuddy.

Yongsun pulled her into her trailer and immediately pulled down her shirt. Hyejin gasps at the sight of the scattered hickeys.

"That's not all of it too, I just had to try my best to alleviate the ones on my neck and by my ear. Seriously, this girl _knows_ me. Like no one else does."

And she was right. Byulyi knew her like no one else.


	3. three [m]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yongsun's hand cupped Byulyi's cheek, almost lovingly. But Byulyi knew better than to assume anything of love. It would've been stupid to even think of it with Yongsun.

Byulyi didn't know how often she found herself in a situation that seemed like she'd been in before. Yet, here she was in the after-party of another award show, taking down shots and flirting with women.

Well, _woman_.

Not Kim Yongsun, she reminded herself. They didn't exactly meet on bad terms last time, but Byulyi had begun to question the nature of their relationship. She looked at the floor and chuckled to herself.

Moon Byulyi, an award-winning performer, was entirely at Kim Yongsun's disposal. And she despised herself for it.

She despised herself for it, because it had been months, and Yongsun was only around for a good fuck. And she... Byulyi wanted something with substance.

What she and Kim Yongsun had didn't have that. It felt superficial and temporary--and Byulyi didn't want her to be temporary. She wanted Yongsun permanently. She wanted Yongsun to be hers as much as she was Yongsun's.

That's why she placed her glass down on the bar and found herself with her hands on a woman's hips, breathing into her ear and swaying to the rhythm. She wanted anything that would keep her mind off of Yongsun for the first time in the past few months because she was all she ever thought of.

Byulyi blinked twice, and suddenly her phone rang from her back pocket.

_so-called straight girl_   
_is calling..._

  
She instantly picked up, sobriety creeping up on her.

"Come over." A demand, unlike how it was usually a question.

"Right now?"

"Did I stutter?"

The line goes silent; Yongsun had ended the call abruptly.

Byulyi didn't know how, but she was somehow in a car on her way to Yongsun's place again, barely even sober. God, the woman really had her wrapped around her finger.

She could barely hold herself together having done too many shots to even count, but before she knew it, she found herself in this situation again.

Yongsun would call. She'd come over. They have sex. She leaves in the morning before she wakes up. Then, the cycle repeats. Not that she ever grew tired; she just craved more from Yongsun--craved for something that couldn't be asked for.

She found herself here again--here, on Yongsun's door, not even being able to knock before it opens.

Byulyi was here again--in a situation where she couldn't escape her addiction on what Yongsun made her feel--be it pleasure or love. _Right, love_. The feeling she tried so hard to suppress but kept reappearing like an uninvited guest.

Byulyi tried not to think of the idea of love, of loving Yongsun, when she aggressively thrust three fingers inside of her in a fit of jealous rage. Yongsun knew she had been getting around and obviously hated to entertain the idea.

"Tell me who owns you, Byulyi."

She wanted to cry but she was unsure of whether out of Yongsun's girly uncut nails or because of the realization that she would never be able to reciprocate her affection.

Pressed up against the wall with her hands pinned above her head by Yongsun's grip, Byulyi choked up a weak and drunken, "You, Yongsun."

She was sober enough to think that Yongsun wasn't even hers, but not to say it out loud.

As soon as she came, Byulyi passed out on Yongsun's bed and tried to drown out her thoughts of Yongsun--of her 'possession' over Byulyi and how it wasn't at all wrong.

Byulyi sat on the patio by the balcony, a cigarette lit in between her lips. It was sunrise, and she never stayed long enough for Yongsun to encounter her in the morning.

So, it came a surprise to her that the actress slipped through the window between her room and the balcony. The rapper was clothed in her skinny jeans and black bra, covered up more than Yongsun who was only in her set of baby blue underwear.

"Hey." She sat gingerly on Byulyi's lap, as though it was nothing. And it wasn't; they've done far more than just sitting on laps. Yongsun's fingers found Byulyi's--an action that would've made her heart beat uncontrollably if she wasn't holding a cigarette.

She watched as Yongsun's lips touched the stick and exhaled sharply. Something about the way they were together in the moment seemed poetic; with the cool skies warming up, the contrast of their scarce clothing and hair colors, and just silence and smoky breaths were shared between the two of them.

Yongsun's hand cupped Byulyi's cheek, almost lovingly. But Byulyi knew better than to assume anything of love. It would've been stupid to even think of it with Yongsun. Especially considering the main reason why she made sure to leave so early in the mornings was because of her boyfriend.

It was a parting kiss, but Byulyi didn't know what for. She just knew Yongsun was saying goodbye. That's why it hurt.

Yongsun didn't call her again for the next three weeks and she didn't bother to question her even though they met every two weeks. Moreso when she knew she had accepted her boyfriend's proposal.

Yongsun was getting married.

* * *

It was 3AM. So, Yongsun didn't understand why anyone would need to ring her. Even more, Yongsun couldn't understand why it was Byulyi.

"Yongsun!" instantly greeted her as soon as she picked up. She rubbed her eye, sitting up to keep herself awake enough for a conversation.

"What... What is it, Byul?" She whispered, eyeing the man that slept peacefully beside her. Yongsun shifted uncomfortably; her relationship with Byulyi wasn't exactly the one where you'd expect friendly casual calls.

"Please come pick me up, Yongsun. I can't... walk... I can't... think... I can only... think of you."

Yongsun exhaled sharply. "Why are you thinking of me? Are you drinking?"

"Yongsun-ah... I love you."

She couldn't bear it.

Her engagement ring glistened in the darkness of the night. A tear rolled down her cheek.

"Yongsun.... Can you hear me? I love you." Her voice sounded clear as day, like she was right beside her. But Byulyi wasn't, her fiance was.

_She wanted to say it back. Why couldn't she say it back?_

"I heard you got engaged today.... That's good. Good for you." Byulyi sounded broken—Yongsun had broken her by getting engaged to someone she wasn't even sure she loved. But they had been together for _so_ long, it must be right, right?

"I hope... he can love you better than I ever can. I hope... you never feel empty. And I hope... you never have to call me again just to fill that void." It was the most genuine she had heard Byulyi talk. They never talked about feelings or hopes, but how could Byulyi have known? Suddenly, Yongsun couldn't see anything from the tears that blocked her vision.

_Oh God._

_She loved Byulyi. She loves Byulyi._

"I'm leaving you alone now; you know we can't keep this up forever..." Byulyi inhaled, then there was a thud. "But I'm really hoping that someday, I won't love you anymore."


	4. city of stars * bonus chapter

Moonbyul's neck had bended upwards to gaze up at the night sky scattered with glittering stars. 

She blinked once, and then twice. It was the 30th of December; a cold winter night. Three years ago, she would be in a bar, wallowing in her own self-pity but she was past that part of herself. 

She was over it. Or so she would tell herself every night, laying awake, staring at the ceiling. 

What could've possibly gone differently? What could she have said or done that would change what happened between her and Yongsun? 

Nothing. Nothing now, she thought to herself, the winter breeze nipping at the tip of her nose. 

Her patience grew thinner and thinner out in the cold, prompting her to fish out her cellphone from her shoulderbag. 

"Where are you? You were supposed to be here ten minutes ago, Irene." Moonbyul's breath drew long breaths, her eyes heaving. She started to walk through the crowded restaurants of Seoul, watching the people through large window panes. 

"I'm sorry, darling. I got caught up in a last minute meeting with the CEO. I'll meet you at the restaurant in thirty minutes, I promise." Her girlfriend sounded like she was rushing herself to be at their meeting place on time. 

Moonbyul sighed in reluctance. "I'll be waiting, alright? I love you." The rapper continued to walk through the snowy path to the restaurant. 

As soon as its warm air welcomed her, she made herself comfortable in the seat, ordering a meal and a drink ahead to pass by time. 

It must've been a trick of light—maybe fate—that Moonbyul was seeing who she was seeing a few tables across. 

Her long black hair sat against her chest in defined curls, her lips painted scarlet with an unfamiliar smile. The woman she once loved was unhappy; eyes empty and lifeless. But Yongsun was no longer the woman she had her fancies for any longer. Though somehow, strangely, there was a pain that pinched its fingers on her heart.

Neither of them would be happy with the absence of the other; that was the absolute truth. 

It was inescapable, yet they couldn't do anything of the sealed fate they both had. The choice had been made, yet time couldn't erase the glistening beauty of Kim Yongsun. 

She was as beautiful as day. 

Moonbyul's thoughts were quickly interrupted by a waiter serving her a glass of wine and water. 

As soon as she caught sight of a lone Yongsun again, their eyes met—a pained glimmer shared. 

The actress was conflicted whether to smile or frown at seeing her for the first time in three years, but her lips turned in a bittersweet smile. 

Moonbyul looked away and hung her head for a second in shame—shame of the person she had been the time she forced herself to move on from the wonder that was Kim Yongsun. 

Irene's promise of thirty minutes quickly ran out as Moonbyul tried her best to keep herself entertained by something else other than Yongsun, who already knew they were only three tables away. 

"You haven't aged a day, Moonbyul. You look... better, happier." Even from someone else, it felt untrue to her. An uncomfortable silence filled the air between them and Moonbyul held her breath, it was like a dream to see her up this close after so many years. "Are you... Are you supposed to be with someone else?"

It took Moonbyul a few moments to speak; taking in the fact that Kim Yongsun was talking to her in this very second. She felt somehow starstruck for the first time, until she cleared her throat to snap herself out of it.

"Yeah, I'm waiting for my girlfriend." The words almost refused to cone out of her mouth, as if they weren't to be spoken to her. "You've been alone for this entire time too though." 

"I guess we're both waiting on people that aren't coming. My husband said he'd be here an hour ago." Their entire conversation felt tensed; maybe because they knew they shouldn't even be talking in the first place. 

So many things had changed since the last time they met and Moonbyul would rather be sunken into the earth than be where she was right now. The very feelings she tried so desperately hard to avoid and to hide resurfaced at the mere sight of Yongsun. 

The actress looked down on her from where she stood, until Moonbyul realized she was waiting to be offered a seat. 

"I can't stay. I have to go home to my girlfriend."

Three years, and Yongsun still could not say those words that refused to leave her lips that very night. 

I love you. 

Simple, really. But why was she sitting here, watching as the only woman, the only person she could ever come to love, walk away? 

I loved you then, I love you now. 

It was so easy. It was so easy, but why couldn't she say it? 

She held out her hand to grip Moonbyul's wrist and the woman turned her head and looked, expectant of what Yongsun's next move would be.

Yongsun squirmed in anxiety over being dumbfounded—she didn't know what she was going to say or to do. 

"I know."

The actress shed the most painful tear; letting go had never been the easy task for either of them. She pulled her in closer for the parting kiss they never got the chance for; and stayed on the taste of her lips that she no longer knew. 

"I l—"

Moonbyul's eyes went somewhere Yongsun instantly knew. 

Her ring. 

"I know. I know."

And just like that, Kim Yongsun watched her walk away. 

Yongsun would come to go home to her husband, another night of crying herself to sleep until her regrets would numb her while Moonbyul laid next to Irene, who, too, hurt at the fact that she could never be the one her girlfriend truly loved.

Maybe another day, perhaps another lifetime—they would not love each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the end. It's the final chapter and I'm 100% sure that I will not write about Toxic any longer. Please stop attacking me for it. Thank you and happy new year, everyone.


End file.
